How to Talk to Our Kids About Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion

“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies of the world would also change.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

I still remember the day I came home and told my mom we needed to move. I had learned about the civil rights movement and segregation that day in school. As I played at recess that afternoon, I noticed how almost all the children on the playground were white. I was horrified. In my 10-year-old mind, I thought “Are we in a school that is still segregated?” It opened up so many questions for me, most of which weren’t answered by my parents. I was told the questions I had were too complex for them to answer in an age-appropriate way and that was that. There can be a lot of discomfort or uncertainty in discussing these topics, but they are critically important. I am aware that I have a responsibility to expose my child to these topics and to help him understand how they impact the world around him. Here are some ways to start proactively incorporating these conversations in your household.

Start with children’s books and shows about DEI: There are a ton of children's books and shows available, and you can start reading with your kids about these topics or exposing them to shows that cover these topics in age-appropriate ways. Kids are never too young to start reading or hearing about diverse topics. I have provided a list of recommended books on my website under “Resources -> Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. If you have older kids who enjoy reading or streaming, this can also be a good way to introduce topics that are often complex. It is also a way to spark their natural curiosity.

Attend local events or volunteer: There are generally all kinds of events going on in any given city that are related to diversity, equity, and inclusion that promote kids’ participation or are kid-friendly and even promote kids volunteering along with their parents. This is a fun and social way to get them more involved in the community and learn about different cultures and marginalized communities. Community involvement is a great way to be proactive in the community and they’ll internalize what they’re learning and naturally ask more questions. Be open to their curiosity.

Be honest: When you have conversations, and your kids ask questions, answer their questions honestly and to the best of your ability. If you don’t know the answer, be honest about that as well and proactively work to research appropriate answers. Kids know when they aren’t being told the whole truth, and it may drive them away from asking questions in the future if they feel you are withholding. Emotional safety means open communication, and this goes a long way in developing our kids’ ability to learn and make sense of the world around them.

Educate yourself: Our kids learn through modeling. If they see you taking an interest in these topics, they will too. Often, what’s important to us becomes important to them as they grow up. You can start by following people on social media covering these topics; research on your own to become more educated and involved; or become more active in your community.

Encourage critical thinking and empathy: It’s a great start to begin reading books or streaming shows and discussing these topics more openly in your home. But we can also work to build our kids’ critical thinking skills and empathy by asking them questions such as “How do you feel about this?” or “Can you think of things that we can do to support ___?” This can spark ideas and encourage our kids to begin thinking more about not only how things are today and get them more involved.

We have a collective responsibility to acknowledge our failings and inequities in our society and educate our kids so they begin to dream about what could be. It starts at home, and it starts with us.