When the Election is Creating Tension – 3 tips

No matter which side of the spectrum of issues you land, you are more than likely feeling some level of stress and tension. For many, things feel more stressful, polarized and heightened than ever before. And guess what? Our kids can feel that stress and our heightened emotions. It may come out as us being distracted on our devices or televisions as we search for updates this week; or it may come out in other ways such as short-temperedness, irritability, emotional reactivity and even anger. If you live in a home that is divided, your kids may even have witnessed some heated discussions or arguments about the topics that are on the ballot, and even if they cannot hear our fears or tension, they are feeling it. So how can we support our kids through this tense and unknown time? Here are three tips that I hope can help you with your kids to provide support and stability during the coming days and weeks as we wrap up this election cycle.

1)      Provide as much stability and continuity as possible. Children thrive on routine and predictability.  In this time of gross uncertainty, our kids need to feel our stability more than ever. Keep to your routines with them as much as you can. Just as we look to our leadership to set the tone for us, our kids look to their parents to set the tone for them. This doesn’t mean that you lie to them if they have questions about the election, or what’s to come. It means that you continue to be there as you always have, giving them the same amount of support and predictability that you always have. This will provide them with a sense of ease and comfort if they are sensing your discomfort.

2)      Answer them honestly, in an age appropriate way. If your kids do have questions about the election, give them an honest answer. I talk about this a lot, but kids know when they are being pandered to and lied to and I believe it only adds to their overall unease and anxiety. Kids deserve to be told the truth, in a way that is respectful and appropriate to their age. So, while you do not have all the answers about what happens next after the results of the election, which is ok to tell them, you can also reassure them that what you do know is that you’re always going to be there for them and for your family, and that is something that never changes. You can also talk with them about things that are within their control, things like practicing kindness to others, even when they may not agree with you and respecting each other and our differences.

3)      Keep the news (and noise) to a minimum. If the election results begin affecting your mental health or your ability to be present as a parent, then take a step back. I recommend some self-care if you can, so you can be better equipped to handle what may come. At the end of the day most of the next few weeks is outside of your control so it’s time to start focusing on what is within the realm of your control and reminding yourself of the places where you can make the biggest difference and impact, which is at home and within your own family unit. Modeling love, acceptance, tolerance or any other values you want to instill in your children is one of the best ways to ensure that the next generation is equipped with the tools and skills they need to go out and thrive in the world. Additionally, there is a lot of information that might be too complicated especially for younger children to understand, and so limiting their exposure is healthy.

BONUS TIP! If you are a parent of an adolescent or teenager who has questions, this is a great opportunity to start having conversations with them about what they think and feel and helping them to decide what they believe. Give them space to speak about what they are witnessing and hearing and how they are processing, regardless of if it is different than how you feel. You job is not to instill in them your exact beliefs in the, but to allow them the space to decide what they think and feel for themselves. A child/teen who is given the space to decide how they want to think and feel in the world turns into a powerful adult who has the capacity to change the world.

For anyone who is going through it this week, I see you and I hear you and I stand with you in solidarity.